Up the hill

My cane strikes the ground

Searching for rubble 

That will steady my hold

Hands shaking, I climb 

Knowing that I have grown weary

Knowing not where I am

Remembering little 

Or rather just enough 

To get by in the climb

Stopping briefly

To relive the few moments

That would suddenly flood my mind

Putting on skits with my cousins in India 

Playing crocodile at recess in Singapore 

Kayaking with my sister in Florida 

Singing to Jesus in Carrboro
Those songs that are the only
Lasting remnants of my mind

And so I sing
As I climb
Pulled up by the same hand
That held me when I was born
That had been my mother my father my sister my brother
That had never let go
Through all of my climb

I look up, and thank God 

That though I am in danger

Of forgetting who I am

He did not let me forget Him.

Promise

Overlooked
and overplayed

I sink to the chair
In disarray

I fold my hands
And take a look

There's nothing there
Only what life shook


Hoping my palms


Will form deep lines


That mean something
That I can follow

Follow
Follow

Just follow
The voice of Jesus
Singing His promise
To me

Follow
Just follow
The voice of Jesus
Saying

When someone
Calls you a novice
Just remember
My promise

You are my child
Oh you are my child
My child
You are
My child

When someone
Calls you a novice
Just remember
My promise

You are my child
Oh you are my child
Forever
You are my child

I promise

Here I am to worship - Tamil transliteration (part a)

Original Here I am to worship lyrics (Michael W Smith, AZ Lyrics):

Light of the World
You stepped down into darkness
Open my eyes
Let me see
Beauty that made
This heart adore You
Hope of a life
Spent with You

[Chorus:]
Here I am to worship
Here I am to bow down
Here I am to say that You're my God
You're altogether lovely
Altogether worthy
Altogether wonderful to me

King of all days
Oh, so highly exalted
Glorious in Heaven above
Humbly You came
To the earth You created
All for love's sake became poor

[Chorus]

I'll never know how much it cost
To see my sin upon that cross
I'll never know how much it cost
To see my sin upon that cross

[Chorus X2]

Choices

Jesus man of sorrows
Has taught me to ask

Amidst the turmoil
I wonder what God
Has created for me
To enjoy
To choose delight
Over misery
Despite circumstance

Happiness is happenstance
But Joy is a choice
Life may be hard
But Peace is a choice
Betrayal is inevitable
But Love is a choice

To be deceived is unavoidable
To choose to seek the Truth
Is Freedom


I leave my burden
At His feet

As Jesus- Lord of ALL
Has taught me to sing

Seeking

Are there no amount of tears
That would satisfy your hunger
Oh Lord?
Are you content
In letting me drown in them
Oh Lord?
As I cry out in vain
I wonder
Oh Jesus
Have you left me
To wither
Without your grace?
Have you left me wandering
Alone in this place?
Have you left me?
Oh Father in heaven
Have you left me?
Have you given the enemy
Permission to test me?
Test me Oh God test me
I will cry out to you Jesus always
As I have nothing else
Left
I left it all for you
As I want to be your servant
But how can a servant
Obey the orders
She cannot hear?
How can I know you God
If I have no affirmation
That I hear from you?
Lord make me your servant
Send me your voice
Send me your orders
But do not leave me
Oh God
To suffer in this silence
To be suffocated by your absence
Forgive me God for my wrongs
Allow me your presence oh Lord
Allow me to eat the scraps
From your heavenly banquet
Oh God I beg you for your mercy
Upon my soul that withers away
At not hearing you
At not feeling you
At not knowing you
Oh God please minister to my soul
That cleaves to the dust
As it is in YOU alone
I put my trust.

The Throne beyond the door

I guess the first step
To going through a door
Is to believe
There is something there
On the other side of the door
That is different from this side of my world
Something worth asking about
And something worth taking action
Taking the time to walk through
Leaving behind all that I know
For a few moments
Or for a long time
Leaving behind all
That I think keeps me safe
And comfortable

To walk through that boundary
That separates me
From that which
I believe in
That which I have
Assurance in
That which I have
Confidence in
That which,
When I give it a chance,
Blesses me with
Peace
Joy
Love
Patience
And the fruit of the
Holy Spirit of Jesus

Will I take another chance today?
Will I have the faith
To walk towards prayer?

A door that shifts
My perspective
My mountains
My probabilities?

A door that seems
So far
Too far
For my wretched soul
A door that appears
Too good
Too perfect
For my broken self
A door that I know
Holds the key
To the problems
On this threshold

I wonder
Can I pray again
To You, Jesus?
Even when I feel unworthy?
Can I walk through that door?

Can I approach
Your Throne, oh God?
Through this door
That you have left open
That you welcome me through?

Can you help me
Dissolve this boundary
This wall
That I've set up against
Your love? Your mercy?
Your forgiveness that
I cannot fathom
And therefore shut out?

Can you help me oh God?
Get through this doorstep
To feel Your presence?
To ask for healing?
To ask for a renewal?

God I want to walk through
This door
And spend time with You
At this palace
Beyond this door

Power

What does it mean
To fight the system
What does it mean
To you

Does it mean you
Push back all
Authority
And fight off those who tase you?

Let me tease you
With the improbable
Don't let them phase you out
Don't let them faze you
Let them face you
Let them look into your eyes
And see the demise
Of their integrity
Their conscience
In shambles
Their fellow human
In shackles
Powerless, frustrated
While they tackle
All that comes their way
Day after day

God we are tired
God we are tired
Of being oppressors
Of being oppressed.

God we are a people
Rising
Like poorly leavened bread
We struggle to rise-
Oh God- we have
All
The wrong
Yeast.

God makes us unleavened again
God shake us out
Of the yeast of Herod
And the yeast of the Pharises

God give us your yeast
God help us rise up
Against the opressors
Of our soul
With YOUR yeast
Oh Jesus
Let YOUR yeast
Shape a people
To make them YOUR people
YOUR sheep

Sheep who do not flinch
When they encounter
Those who tase
Those who hate
Those who tease
Those whose fate
Is strangely familar
To the very people
Whom they're putting down
Who they're telling
"You can't"
In fear of becoming the opressed
When oh God
You're telling us
"You can"
In loving God
And loving our neighbors,
Our enemies,
Our oppressors.

God when we feel opressed
May we not let
The yeast of this world
Shape our unleavened actions
May this world
Not shape how we rise up
Oh God! Help us fight the system
That the yeast of this world
Has shaped without challenge

What does it mean
To fight the system?
What does it mean
To challenge
To you
To who
To you
To kneel and pray
To ask Jesus
To help you challenge
All that comes at you
Day after day

We kneel and pray:

To be free from the enemy
Sowing discord
Pitting humanity
Against itself

Oh Lord we cry out to you
Oh Jesus we sing out to you
Have mercy on the powerful
Teach us to love
Send grace to the powerless
Teach us to forgive

For we hold positions
But we hold not
What true power is
For we know truly
You are
What
Power
Is.

Amen.