In God we trust

How small is our God
that we rely on guns for protection?
How small is our God
that we hide in tanks for refuge?
How small is our God
that we attack with drones for defense?
IF we have faith in Jesus
King of ALL kings 1
the Prince of Peace 2
who has counselled 2 us
To walk with our
feet shod in the gospel of PEACE, 4
Should we not have Him
As our protector, our defense, our refuge? 5
How small have we made Jesus?
I am a believer because I believe
His story did not end with the
Bruising and battering of His body
With man-made weapons 3
I believe that he was
Victorious over these
Weapons fashioned against Him
For none of these could stand against
The might of our God, Jesus Christ!
I believe he rose again,
Defeating the violent end
That man thought he had
Met on the cross
Defying the narrative of life and
Death that has plagued every mortal until
That day he rose again- when he made
Peace possible, when he made peace
A pragmatic possibility for mankind to follow
And yet
We stand
Not in his gospel of peace 4
But against flesh and blood, 6
Our brothers and sisters,
With weapons formed against them 3
With weapons that intend to
End their lives over
Oil and money and past hurts and
Power and religion- when- our
Own life is but a breath. 7
Beloved followers of Jesus Christ:
Why do we not take heed of
The once-violent Paul when he says
Our fight is against spiritual darkness and not our fellow man? 6
Why do we deny Jesus when he teaches us to 8
Forgive our fellow humans
Not seven times
But seventy times seven? 9
Why do we ask if we are our brother's keeper 10
When God asks us to love
Our neighbours 11, our friends 12, our enemies? 13
Why have we lost our faith,
our way on the path of peace
that Jesus preached?
Be brave oh Jesus followers
As the accuser tempts you into
Violence- for that is not
The solution Jesus wishes for us to seek 14
Protect yourself instead with the armor of God 15
As you go into battle
Have faith in the Lord who reigns and
Not in the fear that may 16
Burn like fire but is just
Smoke and mirrors.
As the Truth of Jesus will protect you
As you pray for God to strengthen you 17
Lift up all your persecutions to Jesus,
Whose yoke is not an AK-47
Whose yoke is not a shotgun
Whose yoke is not a literal sword 18
But the sword of the Holy Spirit. 19
Listen not to the lies that
Dictates unforgiveness will rule
Over your life
Listen not to the deceptions that
Points to murder as the only answer
For God is the only answer
For Jesus has given us the free will 20
To choose His way
The path of peace.
For your mind will be at peace
As you put down your weapons
And take up the helmet of salvation 15
For your heart will grow
During any attack
As you take up your shield of faith 15
For your eyes will smile
In the face of persecution
As you stand
Steady in the Gospel of Peace
Do not smirk as
I say give peace a chance
For it is the same
As giving Jesus a chance
One chance
To have your faith in Him
Through prayer and supplication 21
For it is not in guns we trust,
but in God. 22

This poem is written based on biblical truths. Please use the numbers next to lines in the poem as references to the following bible verses:

1. Revelation 19:16 "And he hath on his vesture and on his thigh a name written, KING OF KINGS, AND LORD OF LORDS."
2. Isaiah 9:6 "For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counseller, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace."
3. Isaiah 54:17 "No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and their righteousness is of me, saith the LORD."
4. Ephesians 6:15 "And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace"
5. Psalm 46:1 "To the chief Musician for the sons of Korah, A Song upon Alamoth. God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble."
6. Ephesians 6:12 "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places."
7. (A) James 4:14 "Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away." (B) Psalm 39:5 (NIV) "You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Everyone is but a breath, even those who seem secure." (C) Psalm 103:15 (NLT) "Our days on earth are like grass; like wildflowers, we bloom and die."
8. Matthew 26:75 "And Peter remembered the word of Jesus, which said unto him, Before the cock crow, thou shalt deny me thrice. And he went out, and wept bitterly."
9. Matthew 18:21-22 "Then Peter came and said to Him, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?" Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. "
10. Genesis 4:9 "And the LORD said unto Cain, Where is Abel thy brother? And he [Cain] said, I know not: Am I my brother's keeper?"
11. (A) Matthew 19:19 "Honour thy father and thy mother: and, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself." (B) Luke 10:27 "And he answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself." (C) Mark 12:33 "And to love him with all the heart, and with all the understanding, and with all the soul, and with all the strength, and to love his neighbour as himself, is more than all whole burnt offerings and sacrifices." (D) Galatians 5:14 "For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself."
12. (A) John 4:20 "If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?" (B) John 13:35 "By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another"
13. (A) Luke 6:27 "But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you," (B) Matthew 5:43-44 "Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you," (C) Luke 6:35 "But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil."
14. All of Matthew 18
15. Ephesians 6:13-20 " Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints; And for me, that utterance may be given unto me, that I may open my mouth boldly, to make known the mystery of the gospel, For which I am an ambassador in bonds: that therein I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak."
16. 1 John 4:18 "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love."
17. Phillipians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."
18. Luke 22:35-38: And he said unto them, When I sent you without purse, and scrip, and shoes, lacked ye any thing? And they said, Nothing. Then said he unto them, But now, he that hath a purse, let him take it, and likewise his scrip: and he that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one. For I say unto you, that this that is written must yet be accomplished in me, And he was reckoned among the transgressors: for the things concerning me have an end. And they said, Lord, behold, here are two swords. And he said unto them, It is enough.." Luke 22: 49-51 "When they which were about him saw what would follow, they said unto him, Lord, shall we smite with the sword? And one of them smote the servant of the high priest, and cut off his right ear. And Jesus answered and said, Suffer ye thus far[No more of this!(NIV)]. And he touched his ear, and healed him."
19. Ephesians 6:17 "And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:"
20. Revelations 3:20 "Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me."
21. Phillipians 4:6 "Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God."
22. Psalm 56:4 "In God i have put my trust, in god i will praise his word, i will not fear what flesh can do unto me."

Other verses that speak of the peace that Jesus wishes to give humanity:

(in progress).

My life is not my own

I don't know how I survived drinking that much rum in one sitting. 500 mLs of rum in a clear plastic bottle.

The kind of plastic that is malleable to the point it becomes your stress buster as you run marathons or power through long hikes in the Shenandoahs.
The kind of rum that was affordable to me as a college kid making maybe pennies an hour.
The kind of survival that makes me sit up at night and write this embarrassing tale after four years of wondering, "How am I here right now?" It really is a more favourite question of mine to ponder, compared to more scary ones like "Why am I here right now?" which I've left to God to help me clear an answer out of my muddled head in digestible quantities. Much like my liver.

My liver is the one organ in the my body (and most other human bodies) that has the ability to regenerate itself. But of course, to a point. The average human can consume up to 15mg% of alcohol an hour, as it takes several hours for the liver to clear the blood of that alcohol content(1). Liver or alcohol clearance researchers please feel free to supplement this factoid. Let's do some plugging about chugging into that equation: 500mLs of grade F alcohol / 3 hours minimum of grade A partying and hanging out with chums = ~167mLs of alcohol. Standard deviation of this number is ~+/- 10mLs given the precision of my memory about time and quantity- all I recall is having a water bottle full of rum when I walked into the restaurant and an empty one when we all walked out. So given those assumptions and margins of error, I consumed over 100mLs of alcohol per hour that night I went out to fit in.

"Fitting in???" Yes. Super cliche reason to drink. Proud to say that I fell for it. Why was I so concerned about my image? Who knows. My current state of not giving two shits is radically surprised by former self's stupidity in this regard. Four years and all I have to show for it is a liver and second (and third and fourth) thoughts when it comes to drinking. Maybe this counts as growing up. A little.

IF only the story ended there. Heels. The modern day equivalent to Chinese foot binding. Something I've been ranting about since sophomore year of college during philosophy class. And then let go of as an argument when I saw that guys liked my butt better in heels. So much more important than standing up for my rights, right? I recently donated the pair of heels from that night to goodwill, praying that the person with size 8.5 feet would have better luck carrying themselves around in them than I did.

When I fell, *Sam said he didn't dare come see what happened because he heard the crack of my skull on concrete. I was a healthy girl ~140 pounds and 5'6'' so that's a lot of gravity (140 pounds*0.45 kg/1 pound*9.8 m/s^2= 617.4 N of force) just standing up straight on the sidewalk. Which I tried my best to do until I blacked out standing up. The next thing I knew Kevin was freaking out and so was Julie. In fact Song, B.R and Manishk were too. And then I was in the living room with faces staring at me. Mike's brotherly voice came in and out, "Minu...dude...minu...can you drink more water please?" All I remember is getting up to look at the mirror and start howling about how no one will marry me with a face like that, and that it would make my parents mad. So naturally, my atheist self at that time throws out a prayer, "Force of the universe, if you can hear me, please don't let my parents find out I was drinking." I kept repeating this sentence in my head as I ate something, fell asleep, woke up and took the bus home.

Man. Coming home that morning was tough. I luckily had Julie to stick with me the whole night and help me feel a little bit more human than I did the whole time I walked back to my house. My mother's face was utter torment for me to watch. It was the same face from when I had skinned my entire leg skateboarding, except this time I wasn't laughing and saying that it will be ok.

"Who did this to you?" No way. My mom is giving me an out!!?? "Uh..." "Minnu. What did you say to someone for them to have done this to you? Tell me!" Still had to pretend like I was a good science student though, right? "No mom I was carrying books last night and I fell." "-___- what." "Yeah so I had those five exams right? So I was carrying those books around, I was walking up the stairs and I couldn't see so I fell." "...Minnu...go to your room and lie down please. I can't look at you right now."

I could. I had a purple left side of the face and a fairly normal looking right side. On the purple side, my face was swollen twice the size of the non-purple side, there was blood dripping from the top of both my eyes into a pool at the inner corner of my eyes, and coming out through my nose. My mother had been a general practitioner in India and has seen her share of burn victims and wounded protesters from Chennai. This woman couldn't understand how this could have happened to her daughter, who was wondering the same thing.

I made some turmeric paste for the rising bump on my forehead and resigned myself to living a life with the disfigured face. Shameless turmeric plug- that herb is so anti-inflammatory that I now do not have any noticeable swelling on my forehead whatsoever. Other than the occasional adult acne.

I put on some shitty song on the radio and wondered how I would get through the week of interrogations from my parents. Not to mention looking like Halloween during thanksgiving of senior year. And the graduate school applications I was now filling out thanks to getting a green card after ten years. No more visas to limit my work hours! Now I can slave away, pay taxes, get drunk and fall on my face!

"Minnu who did this to you? Which boy?" You're kidding me. Could my dad not smell the alcohol seeping out of my skin? "No naani I was carrying books and I fell..." I finished lamely.

He storms off and watches TV, sipping from his one beer the whole night. I go to the living room and try to make conversation but neither of my parents would look at me. "Tomorrow we are going to the doctor's office. Good first day of thanksgiving break for all of us."

My sister at this point knows what had happened and is watching in horrified younger child silence as all of this unfolds, amazed at my ability to get away with anything. I was ashamed to say the least. What if this had been my sister following my example and then not making it through alive?

"Alive? Of course you're alive! In fact from the way you fell, that bone should have been pointing inward and causing massive brain damage, and your eyes seem to be just as bad as before so looks like you're good to go," the doctor concluded from my x-rays. She also looked at me through squinted eyes, asked my parents to leave the room and told me to tell her what really happened. Panicking, I blurt out that I had been drinking and fell. She gives me a stern look and says, "After all that your parents have done for you? You could have been dead from the fall."

The fall. Everything after the fall was bleak. I spent the break ruminating over my poor choices, wondering why my parents were putting up a facade about my drinking. Not one question or comment out of their lips was about drinking. Were they just ignoring this fact? Could be. In any case I let them have more silence than words to their questions and kept myself on a fresh turmeric paste regimen. That and all the great Indian food like rasam, fish, string beans, sambhar, and rice thanks to my parents. I healed very well and was able to start working out the next week without smelling like rum.

Years later, after Jesus found me, He helped me dig up this long-buried memory to unpack and I realized how much of a miracle that night had really been. I had prayed for my parents to not find out I was drinking and they didn't until I told them last year- three years after the fall. More importantly, God did me one better- he kept my chums around to give me enough water to clear all that alcohol, and a break from school to heal me to the point where my liver, my forehead, and my brain had not been damaged. As far as I know at least. I'm growing my liver back and, just like my faith, it seems to be doing just fine. My brain and forehead, well, who knows. Time will tell. Until then I'm not drinking more than a few sips for polite accommodation to my hosts at dinner parties.

So I DO know how I survived that night. It was through a very non-committal prayer to a fairly unrelated request that got supplemented by the much needed physical healing. Thanks God, you're the best!

Or, The Best. I never know whether to make compliments into titles when it comes to God. I should re-read A Prayer for Owen Meany to get more comfortable with capitalization.

(1)http://forcon.ca/learning/alcohol.html

*Names changed to protect privacy of those not willing to be embarrassed yet.

*** THIS IS NOT A STORY WRITTEN TO SING OF MY BRAVADO AND ENCOURAGE YOU TO DRINK HEAVILY AND EXPECT THE SAME MIRACLE. THIS AESOP'S FABLE IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE PHRASE "EXPECT MIRACLES, BUT DON'T BE AN IDIOT ABOUT ALCOHOL"***

When data smiles back

Scouring through signals to find one nitrogen slice that smiled back at me :)

Kindling

The earth sighs
Its deep longings
For the summer
In my ear
So
I shall write it down
Giving warmth
To the cold thoughts
About barren lands
And stark trees
Rekindling the fire
Within dry dead branches
So we too
Can see their smoky
Memories of fiery summers.

Postmodern love

Oh but what will I write
That is new on this earth
That will rock His socks off
That He hasn't heard before

Oh but how will I say
How much I love Jesus
And how much He shows up
Always

I feel so empty
When I try to write out my love
To the God who has made my desires
Does He not know already?

Then why do I pray?
Then why do I write?
Then why do I live
But to sing to you anyway

Yes you made me
To sing to you anyway
Yes I have woes
To pray to you everyday
Yes I write to get close
To THE original hipster
The one who IS before everything WAS
To be
A postmodern poet in the eyes of God
I may seem silly and pointless
Except for that little joy that comes dancing
When I feel God's love
Trickling through like syrup
Sticking to all the cracks of my heart

The point of leading

To come to
The point of leading

Is to share sorrows
And be unafraid
Of seeming weak

Is to bring each other to
A place of self-discovery
A seemingly lonely journey for two

Is to freely
Trust your ideas
In the hands of others

Is to freely
Hand others
Ideas to take as their own

Is to boldly
Speak the bitter truth
For those teachable moments

And to embrace others
And to let them embrace you.
True you.

;)

 

I didn't come to Jesus to become an American

When I first learned of you
I feared I would lose myself
My culture
My desires
My world would crumble
If were to become Christian
A little christ
I would become a Westerner
Have a checklist
To work till I die,
Think whiter
The better
Call Europe cultured
While India is just "exotic."
I would become a bigot
Losing the streams
That quenched my thirst
From the beginning.
I pushed your arms away,
Thinking you are
But a hollywood movie: Unbelievable.
Rising from the dead? No way. Unbelievable.
Until my world crumbled
Piece by piece:
Pierce by pierce, betrayal
Tore through my heart
Leaving me gasping for air
As they chose their Barabas-
A thief who stole my work
And shamelessly lied.
Blow by blow I delivered
Evidence to show the truth
For did it not matter? To be truthful?
Step by step I climbed their ladders
Seeking justice amongst the people
Afraid to stand out and stand up for the truth.
Tear by tear I lost my faith
In humanity, in society, in science.
As I left behind everything I held as my future
I walked, I shook and trembled
And crumbled, as I heard my friend say,
"Unbelievable. Your story is like a movie!!"
Drop by drop, your voice drifts into my head,
"NOW YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL."
Silence. Who was that?
Jesus? My imaginary friend? Had I gone mad?
Your words echoed in the caves of my heart
I had no doubt- this was the real deal.
"What about my parents? What would they say?"
"I MADE THEM."
Fear swiftly left, as calm settled
My hesitations from before lifted, with unparalleled clarity.
Peace by peace, you enter my soul
And I decide to follow you, Jesus.
Not because I like going to church,
But because I now know who the Truth is.
Not because I like to help others,
But because I now know who Love is.
Not because of humanity
But despite humanity
Not because of fear
But despite fear
I come running to your arms.